Understanding loneliness – Another witching fact about me

„Growing up in a church is such a nice detail for people writing your biography“, my witch giggles into the orange sunset and I have to take a deep breath. „In case people do so, because your writing escalated enough with the world.“ And she giggles once more. It took me 25 years to realize

Busy witching dreams! An update

For this year, I have some writing goals! Usually, when I have been unusually quiet on my blog, I was busy with non-writing related things that had eaten up all my energy, and although in the past few weeks that had also been true, there is better reason for my quietness this time. I have

A defining moment

It has been more than a week since my last poem. At least that one had been one that mattered. It had been about something I had to remember for the past days to keep going, about a trap in my head. I have often thought these days that I may have found and recognized

A writing sense of nostalgia

I have always had a thing for biographies. I loved exploring where someone came from, in which steps their life had happened, and what traces that had left behind.When I was about ten years old, I read the biographies of Mozart, Avril Lavigne, and Hölderlin, since those were the most important people for me to

March Melancholia

„The sunset is pink again“, I tell my witch and she giggles out into the night.„Is that you‘re reason to cry?“, she asks. I have always enjoyed it when the sunset is taking longer, painting more colours at the horizon at the end of the day. The promising of warmer, better days.The memory of life

Am I brave enough to be me?

„I just didn‘t think that knowing of all the mean things people think of you and ignoring them to carry on was such a big part of life“, I tell my witch over a cup of tea.She laughs.My back hurts.This day in February has been too warm and the humidity is giving me headache.„But you

Soft tale

„I think I‘ll always be too soft to survive this world“, I tell my witch one night.Tonight‘s tale is about one of those days that should not have happened. One of those 14 hours that end with the realization that staying in bed would have been the better option. I‘ve had a horrible journey on

A good kind of after-sadness

„And what now?“, I ask my witch as the last chocolate is eaten. „What‘s next?“Layla giggle into her now empty bottle of wine. „After sadness, you mean?“ After sadness.After raging against the universe, with cupcakes at midnight and a sunrise flavoured in wine.After an eternity spent in Vanilla scented candle light.After loss.Unheard screams. „Where do

Reality challenged thoughts of a witch

Maybe I am only slowly understanding my connection to reality. Maybe I need to take half a step out of my skin to have the right perspective to tell stories, or maybe the „Barbie“ – movie almost made me change the names of my online accounts – this is a thing I am still thinking

Adventure dream thoughts!

Can you think of a scenery that immediately lures your mind away into adventures? An image that reminds you of heroes and monsters and of overcoming the borders of this world? A view that escaped one of the fairytale collections in your bookshelf, or fits into the favourite book of your childhood?For me, this have

What does healing even mean?

I am sitting at a restaurant late at night, and I feel pretty with my cat ears on. The friendly words of the person in front of me are so disturbing that I wait for touching piano music to drown out the chatting and clattering all around, and as he reaches out to pet my

Recognizing Dystopia

Maybe it is a flickering at the horizon, or the lack of colours in the world. It can be a drumming in the distance making your cup of coffee spill over the edge. Either way, it does not seem easy to miss once Dystopia opens its eyes and sheds its light onto your world.„And yet

Dystopia fault

The horizon is glowing.The days keep coming, in purple and blue.„Is this my Dystopia fault?“, I ask my witch. In the past years, I have come across one statement about the newly felt fragility of life very often, and I have constantly felt as if something about that was not right.So often have I read

Dystopia youth

„When were you young?“, I ask my witch one early evening as we sit with a hazelnut flavoured hot chocolate by the window and watch dramatic clouds appear over the roof tops. I do not need a reminder of the last decade before the 30-years-war began, but rather want to catch some memories. And make

Personal essay – Searching for a warm thought in an autumn night!

Since it‘s a dark and seemingly endless November night that also has me trapped in bed with another Covid-infection, I think it‘s time to question my motivation, and my witch giggles. “Yes, that is what makes these nights easier”, she whispers into our midnight coffee. Where were we?My motivation to make it through the dark

Why being human is so terrifying

„Is it called eye shadow, because you use it to paint extra shadows under your eyes?“, my witch asks as I blink into the mirror and the upper eyelid, the under one as well as my cheeks are sparkling in silver. Still sparkling, but also looking ill.Looking like no decent sleep for a while.Like a

Why I once loved to watch sitcoms! A few memories.

I wanted to write about my old love for sitcoms for a while now, but of course had to wait for the saddest opportunity to do so, because it‘s me…„It‘s the comforting evening ritual and background chatter I used to get through the day before I knew how to summon you“, I tell my witch

Spiraling with the dead! For my grandmother.

„It‘s so obvious!“, my witch complains about every opening sentence that I have attempted to write for this blog post yet. Sometimes, it takes time to realize the most obvious things, even if they wait at every corner everyday. Or maybe even because they do. This one is about the dead which I have envied

Of dead flowers and chocolate!

What are those words for that are whispered into dried flowers, carrying memories of a troubled past?She keeps whispering those words.As if the person who got her those flowers once had not already left a long while ago.Such a long while that the leaves are a faded yellow.One that died ages ago but still needs

Thoughts on who I am

„Do you always know who you are?“, I ask my witch, assuming I would sound just normal, humanly relatebale, but even she was confused. Lately, I had to wonder what kind of thoughts fought their way from the back of my head, where they were usually stuck and mostly being ignored, to be there in

Thoughts on friendship!

„I have once met a collector of souls as well“, my witch whispers.Tonight, we‘re thinking about friendship.It can be heartbreaking where desperate souls go. When I was in my early 20s (and yes, it hurts to speak about this in past tense), I enjoyed watching the sitcom „Friends“ a lot. I needed the cozy feelings.

About being difficult

„So, we‘re just going to embrace a stake, if we see one?“, my witch giggles into my ear, while I am still shaking. With fury, I think.„If we don‘t, it‘s gonna be there either way.“ This one is about being a little bit difficult. When I turned 13, my mother got me a card that

The painful reality of being a woman

I‘ve had a reason to celebrate lately!I faced the meanest monster. I have fought my demons for now. For a little while. Oh, now that I think about it too much, I tend to think that maybe I am a bit too happy, because life just keeps being a mess.But still – I thought I

Witching update …

This has been the longest time for me without a new post, so I am giving a short update!Yes, I am still alive and no, the blog is not going to die! Actually, I feel bad for risking to lose the good activity and reactions I‘ve lately had, but things in my other life (the

About the good things in life

„Against all odds“, where the words my witch and I were living by for a very long time, and I keep wondering what kind of life can be spent in the light of these words. It‘s the kind of words to whisper onto the horizon at night on a field, or with an open bottle

Summer solstice thoughts!

„The days are already getting shorter“, I tell my witch, as we once again hurry to fall asleep before sunrise, after a long night of witching discussions, as the horizon is already painted in a faint red.„You‘ve promised to take me apple picking for years now“, my witch complains and I roll my eyes.She is

Dystopia mind

There is an iced latte in front of me and the sun is shining.My words to the person in front of me had been enough to fill pages, as well as to end the patience in the kind eyes looking at me.„You are catastrophizing again!“„Am I?“„Yes!“„But are you sure that I‘m not right?“Desperation sparkles uniquely

Fertility thoughts!

I am sitting at my mother‘s kitchen table.The yellow wallpaper is glowing in the evening sun, while the radio got stuck in the 70s.We are having a late Espresso, and I catch a wave of empathy on my mother‘s face.„Women don‘t have it easy“, she says in deep contemplation. „The clock is ticking constantly and

Dystopia conclusion!

It has finally happened.The other day, I have read on the news that the pandemic is no longer a public health emergency. Was that the term? I hope so.I am not going to discuss whether this is right or wrong, or too early, but since the motivation to start this blog and my witching-writing-journey came

A magical refuge!

Do you remember a place that had you yearn for something magical to happen?A door in the forest, or a secret passage in the mountains? A place that made you believe for a second that witches used it as their refuge from this cruel reality?Just a place that made your mind wonder for a second